Here they are, a short list of questions I get asked a lot. If you want to know a bit more about us, stick around and have a read.
How did “Roddy” get her name?
Probably the no.1 question I get 😂
Around the 32 week pregnant mark we finally agreed on the twins names, well first names anyway. We kept them to ourselves (in case we changed our minds) and decided not to tell Harper so she wouldn’t blurt them out to anyone before the birth. That worked out fine, the names stuck, but Harper hadn’t had any time to practice pronouncing her new sister’s names. Remy was fine but “Rodence” was the best Harper could do for Florence. We always thought Florence would be shortened to Flossy but after a couple of weeks Harper had shorted it herself. Roddy – and it stuck.
Single birth vs Twin birth?
My first and second birth were SO DIFFERENT. Although both natural my twin birth was out of this world. First time around it was slow, the pushing was long and very forced (because of Harper’s positioning). My labour in total was 22 hours and the last 3 hours I lived on the gas 😂
The twins birth however – so instinctive. Despite the fact my waters were broken for me to start my labour it was so fast and so (i want to say animal) natural! I just knew when I was ready to birth and my body really did a lot of the hard work for me. It was incredible. You can read the full birth story HERE.
When and how did you start blogging?
I wrote my first blog in March 2017, when I was pregnant with the twins. Initially it was a piece I wrote solely for myself, it was cathartic for me. Expecting twins really wasn’t desirable news for me at all, and processing that news was a struggle. A struggle that I thought I was on top of when I finished writing that, but boy was I wrong. It cropped up over and over.
I decided to post it publicly after realising I surely wasn’t the only woman to have this reaction to a pregnancy. I wanted at lease one person out there to feel ok about the feelings she had, to know she wasn’t/isn’t alone.
The response was quite overwhelming for me! I had a lot of messages from woman who felt as though I took the words out of their mouth. After that I felt really united with those women. I realised more than ever how overwhelming and lonely motherhood can feel and I wanted to created a space (online) where we could pull together. Celebrating and supporting the ups and downs that come with the journey.
Is social media ‘worth it’ for the amount of time you spend on your phone?
Honestly, it’s my creative outlet. I post what I want when I want, apart from the odd collaborative or sponsored post (these are still genuine – I politely decline plenty). I approach the social media life with the notion of if I were to turn all of this off, delete my accounts in an instant, am I happy with the time and effort I put into my life outside of the screen. My kids, my home, my relationships can’t be effected in a negative way. As for time, my life is never second to my phone, I’m usually too busy to use it during the day. Hence why you don’t see a lot of the chaotic stuff that goes on here, I’m just too busy to pick up my phone and show you. And really, who wants to see the screaming kids, unmanageable juggling and yelly mama that comes out her fair share…
Remember when you’re viewing my Instagram stories, it took the same amount of time to record them as it did for you to watch time… a few minutes out of my day.
I absolutely love the sense of community that comes with my social media. The people I’ve got to know and friends I’ve made are unforgettable.
Plans for more kids?
Initially our plans were – I wanted 3 kids, Chris wanted 2. But what we did agree on was that we wanted a small age gap between number 1 and number 2. When Harper was 9 months old we decided we were ready to start trying to expand and it happened instantly. By the time Harper was 10 months old I we knew I was expecting. Upon the news of adding not 1 but 2, Chris was Mr. Relaxed and I was Mrs. There’s no way I can handle 3.
Fast forward to the birth of the girls, Chris and I both felt so complete and knew that was our family in concrete.
I also would never want to risk having to go through another twin pregnancy, that was the most painful time of my life. Permanent measures coming soon 🙊✂️
Do you want a boy?
Firstly why is it expected of us to have a family made up of both genders… I raise my eyebrow at that. It’s a question complete strangers ask us all the time!! “Are you trying for a boy next?” “Will you keep going until you have a boy?” “Oh I bet Dad wants a boy?!”
No, no and… no. We’re absolutely content with our daughters. Who we think are awesome! Harper really showed us that gender doesn’t dictate the type of relationship you have with your parents. Harper and Chris are absolute besties, she idolises him. Everything that Chris would stereotypically do with a son, Harper loves to do. No need to ‘try’ for another kid just to have a boy and make our family for acceptable to others. 💝💝💝
If you weren’t a SAHM what would you be doing for a job?
My ultimate dream and plan for sometime in the future is to be a midwife. I love to support woman and I’m extremely passionate about it. I can’t think of a better job that helping a woman through the most beautiful, terrifying, shaping journey of her life. I’ve always been quite medically minded and considering nursing too – but kids came first. Depending on timing and ability to train, I would love to do nursing first and follow on to study midwifery. Time will tell, it’s always been a dream of both Chris and I, to have our own business so who knows!
Pre kids I worked in management for a few fashion retail stores.
But for now, Mama is my job. I’d love to have a wee business that worked in with my creative side and current lifestyle. It’s on the cards so let’s see if I can make something happen. I don’t know about you but the idea is a bit daunting for me and I lack self confidence at times. Hopefully I can take the leap soon 🤞🏻
How do you guys afford for Ness to stay home?
Surprisingly this is a question I get a lot. Simply, I don’t have really have any other option. The cost to put 3 children under 3 in care would outweigh my potential earnings. So really we just make it work. I have a budgeting spreadsheet with all of our expenses broken down so we can see where our money is going. From there we can make sure (for the most part) we’re putting enough money aside for the bills that’s are coming up.
Meal planning is a great money saver, although I’ve been a bit lazy at that lately. We also buy the budget brands when grocery shopping rather than popular name brands.
It’s not easy being a single income family with three kids and a mortgage because you know, life adds up and it ain’t cheap! But we make it work and compared to so many nz families, we get by. I just look at this as a season we have to get through. We won’t always have young kids so now is the time where we just knuckle down and raise them. Work and earning can come later for me.
Tips for twin mamas?
This is another question I get asked a lot! Honestly a don’t feel qualified to answer it.. I’m just winging it 😂
My biggest piece of advice would be – Do what you have to do to survive. Twins is a whole other world. One that you can’t imagine until you’re amongst it. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, just do what you have to do.
Routine is a big one, which I reeeeally struggled with in the first 6 months as my twins seemed to be complete opposites. But since they’ve been sleeping at the same time (for the most part) things are much more manageable.
Accept help, I’m terrible at this. But it’s so important! Having more than one baby the same age is more than one person can handle so take the help and support that’s offered to you. If it’s not offered, ask. We all need family and friends in any journey, especially this one.
How did you and Chris meet?
I’m having a little chuckle thinking back 🙊
During our teen years we both grew up out of town, by the beach. At 13 or 14 I noticed this quiet, long haired lad on the school bus and something clicked in me. We were mutual friends throughout high school and spent a bit of time together over the years. Little did we know, the spark was mutual but neither of us acted on it. Until after high school when we were both working, we bumped into each other and the rest is history 💗
It’s so funny now that we’re married with 3 kids to think back to the days in high school when my best friend Polly was secretly playing Cupid. She would call Chris to rescue me from my car troubles to try and give us a little push 🙊
Are the twins identical?
Do they look identical? No, they’re fraternal 😂
I really struggle to see how they look identical but hey, I’m the mama so I have to tell the difference right?!
From the moment they were born it was obvious to Chris and I (and Jordan) who was who. There was never a moment that we got confused. Seeing them side by side they look very different, apart from the fact they wear the same clothes a lot of the time. Their personalities and behaviour and also very different. Two individual little gals.
I think it’s just a question people naturally ask.
What kind of car do you have?
This is a popular question from people who have few children close together in age.
We have a Ford Territory which we bought while pregnant with the twins knowing it has a wide back seat. It also has a big boot and 2 other seats than fold up and down if need be. We have a diesel which is extremely economical too. Perfect family car for us with our current dynamic and lifestyle.
What brand is your dressing gown?
So funny that this is a question I get a lot of! Clearly my blessing gown features a lot 🤣 It’s from Citta
How did you sleep train?
Sleep was a massive struggle for us for the first 6 months of the twins life. Harper was the only one in the house who was functioning properly and sleeping well. When we hit the 6 month milestone I decided something had to change, for the last few months I hadn’t had more than 45 minuets of uninterrupted rest – zombie. I used my knowledge from sleep training Harper and decided to go with the 5 minuet reassurance method. 5 minuets of crying followed by quietly calming and then back to bed. This taught our girls to self settle and after a few days sleep had improved greatly for us. I know sleep training isn’t for everyone and it can be quite a controversial topic. But for our family it was right, no one likes to hear their baby crying. Our whole household (including the babies) were much happier from then on. I highly recommend hiring a sleep consultant, the support is a massive help and they can put a routine in place that’s tailored to your child. I was chatting with one to answer a couple of questions that cropped up along the way second time around – Cherie from Just Love Sleep.
What skincare do you use?
I’m a long time Goodness Skincare lover! It’s a natural NZ range that’s nice and gentle. Fave product is the Organic Chia Seed Oil. I have also recently added a Bees Brilliance Cleanser in too. It’s a beautiful product, smells divine and leaves my skin soft and glowy.
Tips for getting twins down within an hour in the early days?
This was not easy for us when the twins recovered from their jaundice and ‘woke up’. I couldn’t cuddle/rock them to sleep like you can when you have one baby so instead there was a lot of bassinet rocking going on. The Moses baskets we used had rocking stands which was a real help in the early days, that and the Baby Shusher was always blasting. Tight swaddling was also something our girl seemed to really like. If all else failed, I’d call on Jordan to come over and jiggle one so we could settle an baby each.
Well fam, that’s all for now. Congratulations if you made it this far!